Comments on: Hope for the Broken Marriage

By: brian

brian — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 05:56:13 +0000

After reading the comments, I pray and hope that your marriages are repaired, restored and made whole by the mercies and grace of God. I thought about my situation and how messy, inconsiderate, disrespectful I was to my wife. The lies I told, deceitful ways I acted, causing my marriage to be broken and fracture by being unfaithful to her. Plus being addicted to pornography (movies, internet and fantasies of and about other women) and trying to keep it a secret has made matters worse. I don’t want this to be in me life any more. I have hurt and caused wounds that only God can heal her from. I’ve also hurt my children, individually and collectively. I wish I could right the wrong, but I can’t. My wife is a godly and God fearing woman, beautifully created, a good mother and grandmother. “Who can find a virtuious woman?” I did and I hope I don’t lose her. I also will pray that God will turn my life in around then turn marriage around so that I can be a bountiful blessing to my wife in every way, be a greater support to my chlildren and others but most of all be a godly man of God and serve him.

By: tracy

tracy — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 15:28:13 +0000

how very sad to read all the comments here.
I am a christian, married and divorced 2x’s. after 15 years of being single and not really interested in any man past first date or two i have met someone I really like and we have been pretty seriously dating now for a while. recently we just came out of our first tailspin of almost daily unhappiness my bf blames everyone & everything (mainly me) but himself when he calls me names or does things that hurt me…i realize he is a fearful person, afraid of being left (he has told me this); However this is no cause to test me daily like he had been doing. I found this article doing a search for help with our issues…reading the destruction that comes when partners stop looking daily at the good in each other, being grateful for all God has given them & done for them, speaking loving words and following through on commitments (even minor broken commitments can add up to big hurts)…I have prayed and prayed that God will comfort him and help both of us live a life testifiying to God’s love, compassion, forgiveness, grace, generosity of spirit and other Godly attributes.
wether this relationship makes it down the isle or not i want to know I have kept my side of the street clean… sometimes saying I need 5 minutes of quiet to him to prevent reflex outbursts that can do damage if let out without turning my flesh-instincts-reflexes over to God…taking 5 minutes in the heat of it, or when you feel the heat (trouble) coming on can really make a difference…it has for me.
I use that time to pray and to ask myself, what is really going on with me? why am i so upset? can i say what i feel in a gentle, non blaming way? am i really trusting God to guide us/ me or am i trying to run the show with my mouth?

I know God doesnt want us to be doormats. It is a goal of mine to be a woman of dignity and respect, reflecting the love of christ in my life and removing myself from people who drain my emotional battery.

I ask my partner to try to “charge” my emotional and spiritual batteries, rather than drain them…i try to do the same (on good days).

i read a proverb that says “when i am least lovable , that is when i need love the most”

something to ponder.

john 3:16

By: S. Marie

S. Marie — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 04:11:25 +0000

I am so sad to hear about all of our brokeness in our marriages. The evil one is truly on a mission to destroy the family. We have to pray to break these strongholds that keep us bound down. I know that my marriage has been suffering for the last 26 years and my husband couldn’t handle his guilt anymore. I have been separated now for almost 1 year. He is still living the life of a single man, drinking, gambling and has many women that he defiles. He has many addictions and he is in desolation. He feels that he is not entitled to anything good. I pray for him constantly, that Our Lord God will send him someone to minister to him. He and I are currently not speaking – When I saw him in early Dec, he couldn’t even look me in the eye because he has so much shame. I can only pray for him and surrender him to Jesus. Please pray that he will reach his point and will have no where else to turn but to the Lord. God bless you all and I will pray for the Sanctity of our marriages and our families. God’s Mercy be upon us.
PEACE.

By: Lenor

Lenor — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 00:20:13 +0000

I truly appreciate and can relate to the previous comments. I have been married for over 15 years and have suffered with my husband’s infidelity for the majority of it. Most of his “friends/buddies” are females which he has quite intimate conversations with. I have discovered most of these and have approached him only to be consistently lied to until I produce evidence. Although it is all a problem, I really have issues regarding the fact the he is a minister. Besides the relationships he also has an addiction to pornography. I have tried countless times to deal with these issues. I have asked him to go to counseling but he will not committ. I love him and have taken alot. He says he loves me but will not get help or severe the ties of the relationships. Our family is suffering greatly. I am extremely depressed and trying to hold on to the little bit of hope I have. However, if history keeps repeating itself, who’s to say that this marriage should continue. I am know purposing to seek God. As I comment to this tonight, I am quite sure he is with the most current woman of whom he is just addicted to and cannot leave alone. My heart is very broken but I know God can mend it. I love my husband and honestly don’t want anyone else in my life. I feel like I have tried everything but nothing seems to end it. I appreciate the comments from the men and pray that they are sincerely from their hearts. I wish they could physically see and understand the mental and emotional abuse that comes from their actions. I pray that God will heal my marriage or heal me to move on. Thank you for your encouraging words.

By: Jerry

Jerry — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:23:56 +0000

I pray that God will soften my wife’s heart and she will want to come home and work on our marriage.

By: phylicia lyons

phylicia lyons — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:01:47 +0000

Sid Harris :I pray that my marriage will survive the brokeness that is cause by my sin & that God will restore her heart, love & trust in me.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 21:44:01 +0000

My sexual immorality led to my wifes current 9 month affair.She has become cold to my many life changes.She says she has no hope.We are both believers,but have lost our way,very ,very scared

By: jas

jas — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:47:26 +0000

wow…hope…I never thought…faith, hope and love…the greatest is love but we still need hope. Thank you…
I have read the comments and hear the pain…I, too, am at a crossroad that I never believed in a million years I would be standing. Attempting to do all the right things (now)…love, listen quickly, respond slowly and without anger…but when your spouse is everything opposite. There is nothing else but hope and prayer…we have attempted counseling a few times but it seems like only one of us is really trying. I believe that the new life weekend is a good way to make a last ditch effort, otherwise it is just a stressful environment for all to live in…I have heard nothing but great things about healing is a choice but that person(s) has to choose. I believe God allows all of us to make that choice, HE does not force us.
As Michael W. Smith says…”I will pray for you, will you pray for me”…
Many Blessings to ALL of you…

By: Melissa

Melissa — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 15:32:23 +0000

I believe in my heart that a broken marriage can be repaired if both are to be committed to the same goals in life: that is living a godly marriage. Loving and giving to each other. Marriage is a commitment for life to love each other and give to one another. I believe where the misconception comes into play is the sinful society and the immature behavior and personalities of men and women now a days. I believe many infidelities and broken marriages is caused by two people with two different directions in life, regardless if they say they love one another. Love is a word , to love is a responsibility and a commitment that has to taught and learned by each individual. I have been married for 16 years , have three children and have been struggling in my marriage for 15 years. I have been in my eyes living a broken marriage for at least 15yrs, even though evidence proved it to be approx. 8yrs ago, when i found out my husband had a “friendship” (he would call it) with an out of state women; he met on the internet and called frequently and spoke with her while on his way home from work, holidays and weekend. Finding this out 2wks after giving birth to your 3rd child, is a dagger in the heart . I felt so scared and betrayed, angry and sad, because i know in my heart and through my early married life i was and am a loving, caring, and giving wife and mother. We have our stressors like i feel alot a families do, some have more stressors, but the point i’m making is that is life. If you want a relationship to strive and or heal you both have to want to do it together and for the same reasons. i believe were my husband and i continue to struggle is the unwillingness to be committed in the same direction. We have had some counseling and it didn’t work out, for a few reasons…. i want to live my life surrounded by my husband, children and family and live my life day to day and my husbands views our life in vision of how it will be when our children our grown and that has been his view for 15 years. I don’t have a problem in viewing how you will hope to live your life after your children are grown, you have to live life in between those years to get there, and if your not connected through those years you have lived your life for lost hope. I am wearing very thin in my hopes to repair my marriage,because we just can’t seem to get the focus and we are hurting each other as well as our children,who should not even have to be part of it. I have read alot of books and have tried to communicate to my husband our different needs and how we are different and he doesn’t really want to be apart of it, he’s does admit we need to focus on each other , but it is very inconsistent in our household just like our parenting difficulties(which i won’t get into). I think you all get my point and my struggles as well. I pray that all of you are able to achieve your happiness and continued hope to a strong loving marriage it is tough, but i believe if you have the same goals marriage could be a beautiful thing. My last hope to my cause is getting my husband to go with me to a new life lie seminar, i have heard alot of positive from the testimonies and feel in my heart this could be the beginning of a new road and what a new beginning in my childrens eye. God bless to all and our difficulties.

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:23:09 +0000

I hope my husband will turn and lead the lives of the two men above. Our life was moving in the right direction. Lust tooke him over and he decided to leave and be with others. I pray with God’s help he will restore my husbands heart. We have been married for almost 19 years and I do not want to give it up and hurt the children. I have been through a divorced family growing up and do not want my children facing the same issues. I am trying to talk him into attending New Life in September with me. I will then send him to the Mens weekend. Please pray that God can touch his heart very soon and make him realize what he is giving!